Ok, This one is inspired by fakingnews. My dedication to the great
Pakistan's dashing all rounder Shahid Afridi has pledged that he will take revenge from Sachin Tendulkar. Afridi believes that Sachin's record breaking 200 not out was an insult to Pakistan because it broke Saeed anwar's long standing record and its a matter of pride for the nation. Afridi believes that it is no big deal to score a double hundred in one dayers and he can do it in double quick time. He was supported by Javed Miandad, the former Pakistan coach - " Afridi once scored a 100 in 37 balls. (After doing some tuff mental calculations)So he needs a mere 64 deliveries to complete 200. Its only a small matter of him surviving that long" Afridi, who has been 26 years of age for the past 6 years definitely has age on his side. Rashid Latif, another former Pakistan captain reasoned " The boy has atleast 20 years of cricket left in him, he can surely break the record". Last heard the Pakistani defence minister has issued a warning to all Pakistani players that they should break the record within the next year otherwise their salaries will be cut. Yasir Arafat, a young cricketer said "Thats great news, that atleast means we will be getting our salaries"
Tony Grieg, disagreeing to the above comments has said that it will be a Sri Lankan who will break the record. Geoffery Boycott, who had once famously commented that it would be impossible for anybody to get 100 in one day cricket was not available for any comment. However, his Facebook status message read "Missing the days of West Indian fast bowlers"
Ricky Ponting congratulated Sachin on his achievement but was quick to comment that an australian will never score a double hundred in a ODI because they always put the team first. Ricky debated that if a player scores such records it makes the other players in the team jealous and hence hampers the unity of the team. Infact, he has issued a diktat to all aussies to retire hurt after scoring 180. He says that only the captain deserves the right to create records because his integrity cannot be questioned and he is a man of principles.
Also reported, Zimbabwe board was trying to call Afghanistan, Kenya and Bermuda teams for a tour in a feeble attempt to restore the only record held by a zimbabwean. "Chris Coventry is a great player who is extremely underrated. We want to prove that he is as good as Brian Lara and we would go all lengths to ensure that like Lara, Coventry also regains the record which he richly deserves" ZCU president Lualua said in press conference.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The guide to become the ultimate free rider
Having almost completed my super successful MBA, I have decided to do what every good senior does. Pass on the gyaan. Unfortunately, with an expertise of lazying around and free riding I don’t really have any gyaan to pass on. So I have decided to pass on the knowledge in which I have complete expertise – FREERIDING. This blog will be beneficial to people who cannot delegate work properly and unfortunately end up doing almost all work themselves. I hope it changes a few lives.
About the Author
It is very important to establish the credentials of the author before following any such gyaan capsules. So here are a few facts establishing the authenticity of the post.
The author was one of the founding members of the Chillsoc society at FMS. He is the self proclaimed president of SPAMSOC. He has 2 years of extensive experience of working along with the most shameless, faceless, useless free riders at FMS. Before FMS, author received training for 4 years in the hinterlands of bawana, a place notorious for producing the best people in this business.
Few Facts of freeriding
1. Since you have managed to find time to read this, you have the basic ingredients of being a good free rider.
2. Remember great freeriders are never accused of being a free rider. If somebody starts accusing you of being one, eventually your luck will run out and you would have to start working.
3. Whenever you get a chance accuse others of freeriding. This creates a false impression that you are working hard.
4. Free riders need to have great interpersonal skills and brilliant communications skills. It also completely kills their ego. So don’t be embarrassed – Freeriding helps you in improving your personality.
5. Trust your teammates. This is the most important ingredient in forming any team. Trust them to do good quality work which would ensure good internal marks even for you. Without trust you will have the unnecessary urge of cross checking, revising the work which would lead to waste of your valuable energy and resources.
6. If you freeride, nobody would ever accuse you of presenting shoddy work.
The guide
So here are a few tidbits on how to successfully freeride an entire semester. Make sure you follow the exact steps in every semester but on different people.
1. Be present on the first day of the class. This is the day the groups are formed and be atleast 10 minutes early to the class.
2. Sit right next to the most studious girl in the class. Yes, girl is important because even if she finds out your ulterior motives she would spare your mother and sisters and also be sensitive enough not to insult you in front of other girls.
3. Indulge in a conversation before the class on the lines of how important the subject is and how much you want to study the subject. This will create an impression that you are really looking forward to study the subject.
4. Groups are generally formed at the end of the class. The most common size is 6-7. The girl next to you would generally have a default group of 3-4 already decided. You be a NICE guy and suggest another group of 3-4 hard working students and team them up.
5. In the most ideal situation, let the sub groups be such that you are the only one who is very comfortable talking to all people in the group. This will effectively make you the CEO of the group. And as you know in a team CEO works the least.
6. If you are able to find a group where a geeky guy wants to impress a geeky girl, boss you just won a lottery. NEVER leave such a group (Should i explain more :-)). Unfortunately, it is easier said that done. This is precisely the reason one should be aware about all the gossip going around in class. Hence, Free riding also improves your general knowledge.
7. Contrary to popular opinion, NEVER have the same group for two different subjects/events/competitions etc. This ensures that you will be able to freeride all events, other wise work will be shared and you will have to do some of it.
8. Start a chain mail 4-5 days before the final deadline asking the group to start contributing on the topic. Trust me, nobody is going to reply to the mail for the next 2 days. At the end of the two days, send a mail abusing the entire group of lack of seriousness and free riding.
9. If your image has taken slight hit (because of earlier freeriding) google the topic and copy paste the first 2 links and send in the mail. Nobody is going to bother to check the source, and would feel you are really doing some work.
10. Ego massage the hardest working person in the group. Generally, this is the breed of people (Commonly known as geeks, but i wont insult them) who need an outlet to talk. Be that outlet. Tell them how you are the only one working on the project in the other group. Show concern, tell them how much you want to help them but how helpless you are because of the useless group you have in the other subject.
11. Dont worry, they dont really need your help. But please ensure you offer help. Continue to bitch about others in the group.
12. Dont be too active on facebook, gmail etc 2 days before a submission. Out of sight is generally out of mind. Your team mates might just forget about your presence.
These were just a few pointers to become a legend. I have always kept my blog an open forum and you are free to share more ideas. I am open to make the necessary changes.
About the Author
It is very important to establish the credentials of the author before following any such gyaan capsules. So here are a few facts establishing the authenticity of the post.
The author was one of the founding members of the Chillsoc society at FMS. He is the self proclaimed president of SPAMSOC. He has 2 years of extensive experience of working along with the most shameless, faceless, useless free riders at FMS. Before FMS, author received training for 4 years in the hinterlands of bawana, a place notorious for producing the best people in this business.
Few Facts of freeriding
1. Since you have managed to find time to read this, you have the basic ingredients of being a good free rider.
2. Remember great freeriders are never accused of being a free rider. If somebody starts accusing you of being one, eventually your luck will run out and you would have to start working.
3. Whenever you get a chance accuse others of freeriding. This creates a false impression that you are working hard.
4. Free riders need to have great interpersonal skills and brilliant communications skills. It also completely kills their ego. So don’t be embarrassed – Freeriding helps you in improving your personality.
5. Trust your teammates. This is the most important ingredient in forming any team. Trust them to do good quality work which would ensure good internal marks even for you. Without trust you will have the unnecessary urge of cross checking, revising the work which would lead to waste of your valuable energy and resources.
6. If you freeride, nobody would ever accuse you of presenting shoddy work.
The guide
So here are a few tidbits on how to successfully freeride an entire semester. Make sure you follow the exact steps in every semester but on different people.
1. Be present on the first day of the class. This is the day the groups are formed and be atleast 10 minutes early to the class.
2. Sit right next to the most studious girl in the class. Yes, girl is important because even if she finds out your ulterior motives she would spare your mother and sisters and also be sensitive enough not to insult you in front of other girls.
3. Indulge in a conversation before the class on the lines of how important the subject is and how much you want to study the subject. This will create an impression that you are really looking forward to study the subject.
4. Groups are generally formed at the end of the class. The most common size is 6-7. The girl next to you would generally have a default group of 3-4 already decided. You be a NICE guy and suggest another group of 3-4 hard working students and team them up.
5. In the most ideal situation, let the sub groups be such that you are the only one who is very comfortable talking to all people in the group. This will effectively make you the CEO of the group. And as you know in a team CEO works the least.
6. If you are able to find a group where a geeky guy wants to impress a geeky girl, boss you just won a lottery. NEVER leave such a group (Should i explain more :-)). Unfortunately, it is easier said that done. This is precisely the reason one should be aware about all the gossip going around in class. Hence, Free riding also improves your general knowledge.
7. Contrary to popular opinion, NEVER have the same group for two different subjects/events/competitions etc. This ensures that you will be able to freeride all events, other wise work will be shared and you will have to do some of it.
8. Start a chain mail 4-5 days before the final deadline asking the group to start contributing on the topic. Trust me, nobody is going to reply to the mail for the next 2 days. At the end of the two days, send a mail abusing the entire group of lack of seriousness and free riding.
9. If your image has taken slight hit (because of earlier freeriding) google the topic and copy paste the first 2 links and send in the mail. Nobody is going to bother to check the source, and would feel you are really doing some work.
10. Ego massage the hardest working person in the group. Generally, this is the breed of people (Commonly known as geeks, but i wont insult them) who need an outlet to talk. Be that outlet. Tell them how you are the only one working on the project in the other group. Show concern, tell them how much you want to help them but how helpless you are because of the useless group you have in the other subject.
11. Dont worry, they dont really need your help. But please ensure you offer help. Continue to bitch about others in the group.
12. Dont be too active on facebook, gmail etc 2 days before a submission. Out of sight is generally out of mind. Your team mates might just forget about your presence.
These were just a few pointers to become a legend. I have always kept my blog an open forum and you are free to share more ideas. I am open to make the necessary changes.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Some facts about CV points
• Don’t look at others CV’s. They will always look better than yours. The points mentioned are as fake, exaggerated as your own. The only difference is, you know the reality of your own CV.
• Once you have made it, don’t even look at your own CV. There is a distinct chance that you will forget the exaggeration and give yourself too much airs. Btw, the feeling in the first point lasts only a few minutes. At the end of it, MY CV STRONGEST
• Even though the reason for every MBA’s existence is collection of CV points, they will still struggle to come up with 20 points in 730 days i.e a frequency of 1 CV point per 36.5 days. Which means 1 CV point per month. God save our country, if our budding CEO’s are so grossly inefficient
• Although, in office all of us were busy preparing for CAT,XAT,FMS we somehow managed to win some sort of recognition award.
• Your bosses are actually nice. Infact, you regret the days when you used to abuse them. In case, you abused him on his face. Well!! Sorry, you just missed the chance of a good CV point
• Remember even the most worthless thing you ever did. There is a distinct possibility that it would come across as your best CV point. That gully cricket tournament you won in 12th class(bunking coaching class test) can actually lend the perfect balance your otherwise geeky CV deserves.
• Probably the most important thing that you ever did in your life is not on your CV because you got cash prize or some other kind of appreciation from some special someone.
• We scientifically bold the most important words believing that the person who is going to shortlist is going to ignore the other words – Gee!! How smart we think we are or do we sincerely believe that the other person is a moron.
• Just in case you are from a top school, you will suddenly start to regret it. Because your friend from ABC school is able to write TOPPER IN SCHOOL with 86.8% and you cannot with 92%. This belief is again based on the sincere belief that the person who is going to read it is a moron.
• You would wish you were born in the smallest district in India, the moment you see
District topper(in bold), Jharsuguda (In small font) on your friends CV.
Sincere apologies to people living in Jharsuguda
• You will discover new bugs in Microsoft Office while working on your CV.
• If you are actually the way your CV(personals) suggests, you will hate yourself for your arrogance.
• You will suddenly develop eclectic habits (interests) so that you can put on your CV. Being natural is only an advice you give to your juniors.
• Unbelievingly, I write such lousy blogs so that I am able to put blogging as a hobby on my CV.
• Once you have made it, don’t even look at your own CV. There is a distinct chance that you will forget the exaggeration and give yourself too much airs. Btw, the feeling in the first point lasts only a few minutes. At the end of it, MY CV STRONGEST
• Even though the reason for every MBA’s existence is collection of CV points, they will still struggle to come up with 20 points in 730 days i.e a frequency of 1 CV point per 36.5 days. Which means 1 CV point per month. God save our country, if our budding CEO’s are so grossly inefficient
• Although, in office all of us were busy preparing for CAT,XAT,FMS we somehow managed to win some sort of recognition award.
• Your bosses are actually nice. Infact, you regret the days when you used to abuse them. In case, you abused him on his face. Well!! Sorry, you just missed the chance of a good CV point
• Remember even the most worthless thing you ever did. There is a distinct possibility that it would come across as your best CV point. That gully cricket tournament you won in 12th class(bunking coaching class test) can actually lend the perfect balance your otherwise geeky CV deserves.
• Probably the most important thing that you ever did in your life is not on your CV because you got cash prize or some other kind of appreciation from some special someone.
• We scientifically bold the most important words believing that the person who is going to shortlist is going to ignore the other words – Gee!! How smart we think we are or do we sincerely believe that the other person is a moron.
• Just in case you are from a top school, you will suddenly start to regret it. Because your friend from ABC school is able to write TOPPER IN SCHOOL with 86.8% and you cannot with 92%. This belief is again based on the sincere belief that the person who is going to read it is a moron.
• You would wish you were born in the smallest district in India, the moment you see
District topper(in bold), Jharsuguda (In small font) on your friends CV.
Sincere apologies to people living in Jharsuguda
• You will discover new bugs in Microsoft Office while working on your CV.
• If you are actually the way your CV(personals) suggests, you will hate yourself for your arrogance.
• You will suddenly develop eclectic habits (interests) so that you can put on your CV. Being natural is only an advice you give to your juniors.
• Unbelievingly, I write such lousy blogs so that I am able to put blogging as a hobby on my CV.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
You know you are in FMS when
• "Step outside" are your favourite two words. So much so, that you get wierd dreams about them :-)
• In case you are an engineer, when you got admission your friends were most excited about the awesome DU girls you will get to meet.
• In the two years, you did not talk to a single Non FMS girl. Still, you boast about the crowd to your engineering friends.
• You love to move about in FMS Tshirts, Sweat shirts etc. So much so that you have such a huge collection that you hardly have any other clothes.
• In case you came into FMS single, you are still single.
• If you were committed when you came to FMS, you are still committed but the object(guy or the girl) has changed.
• If you are amongst the few non engineers, either make sure your economics is strong or run into hibernation before exams. Because the engineers will assume that you are an economics honours(even if you are a BA arts) and haggle you before the exams.
• In the first year, you felt the whole EB and the system sucks. When you entered the second year, you realized that status quo is the best way to move forward.
• You have SPAMMED more than once in your life. And have also shown disgust at somebody else’s SPAM.
• You freeride most of the things yet bitch about other people in the group freeriding.
• You are convinced that DSE canteen's food is much better than Anna's. Although there is no evidence to prove the same. As HV would say "Food is just an alibi" :-)
• You are amazed at how can anybody else come from outside to eat at Anna's.
• You realize some things need to be changed. But when they do, you create a furore and dare the person who changed them.
• You have not seen the cover of most of the books of the subject you have already passed.
• Youre favorite game is "Farmville". After 9 0 clock, you play Status message Status message.
• You participate in every damn college competition. Even if it is an operations or an HR game and you are a hardcore finance person. Btw, you have kicked ass of other B schooler's before. :-)
• You do social work to build up CV points. Infact, you believe that the very reason for human existence is "collection of CV points”
• You are an absolute stud at google search.
• Your most often visited websites are uncyclopedia, fakingnews.com and facebook.com
• You feel Deepak bhaiyaa is the most important person on campus, particularly at the end of the semester.
• You are convinced marks are given by a random number generator
• You are not allowed to talk about the people in the corner room. (Even on such a useless blog) Although each of you has an opinion on them.
• No matter how busy you are, you will definitely find time to read such silly attempts of your batchmates.
• If this blog becomes too famous, media secy will screw me. :-)
PS 1: 2-3 points are straight copy paste from "You know you are in DCE community" on Facebook. I apologize for the plagiarism. But i dont think the concerned person will mind. I never said I am original.
PS 2 : Ok, the ideas mentioned might be slightly prejudistic in nature. But i dont really care.
PS 3: People please contribute further
• In case you are an engineer, when you got admission your friends were most excited about the awesome DU girls you will get to meet.
• In the two years, you did not talk to a single Non FMS girl. Still, you boast about the crowd to your engineering friends.
• You love to move about in FMS Tshirts, Sweat shirts etc. So much so that you have such a huge collection that you hardly have any other clothes.
• In case you came into FMS single, you are still single.
• If you were committed when you came to FMS, you are still committed but the object(guy or the girl) has changed.
• If you are amongst the few non engineers, either make sure your economics is strong or run into hibernation before exams. Because the engineers will assume that you are an economics honours(even if you are a BA arts) and haggle you before the exams.
• In the first year, you felt the whole EB and the system sucks. When you entered the second year, you realized that status quo is the best way to move forward.
• You have SPAMMED more than once in your life. And have also shown disgust at somebody else’s SPAM.
• You freeride most of the things yet bitch about other people in the group freeriding.
• You are convinced that DSE canteen's food is much better than Anna's. Although there is no evidence to prove the same. As HV would say "Food is just an alibi" :-)
• You are amazed at how can anybody else come from outside to eat at Anna's.
• You realize some things need to be changed. But when they do, you create a furore and dare the person who changed them.
• You have not seen the cover of most of the books of the subject you have already passed.
• Youre favorite game is "Farmville". After 9 0 clock, you play Status message Status message.
• You participate in every damn college competition. Even if it is an operations or an HR game and you are a hardcore finance person. Btw, you have kicked ass of other B schooler's before. :-)
• You do social work to build up CV points. Infact, you believe that the very reason for human existence is "collection of CV points”
• You are an absolute stud at google search.
• Your most often visited websites are uncyclopedia, fakingnews.com and facebook.com
• You feel Deepak bhaiyaa is the most important person on campus, particularly at the end of the semester.
• You are convinced marks are given by a random number generator
• You are not allowed to talk about the people in the corner room. (Even on such a useless blog) Although each of you has an opinion on them.
• No matter how busy you are, you will definitely find time to read such silly attempts of your batchmates.
• If this blog becomes too famous, media secy will screw me. :-)
PS 1: 2-3 points are straight copy paste from "You know you are in DCE community" on Facebook. I apologize for the plagiarism. But i dont think the concerned person will mind. I never said I am original.
PS 2 : Ok, the ideas mentioned might be slightly prejudistic in nature. But i dont really care.
PS 3: People please contribute further
Monday, November 16, 2009
Best excuses for not having a GF
I think in the 6 years of my DCE and FMS life I have heard the best excuses for not having a girlfriend. For starters, most of my friends are single and desperate to mingle and everyone has a theory for single hood.
(Please note - Have tried to hide names in such a way that only those who are supposed to decipher them will be able to)
Listing a few here.
Just concentrate on the letters in bold, ladko ka confidence to dekho :-)
1. Tinnu (to PK in district center) - Beta!! Bandi patane ke liye sirf 2 cheeze zaroori hai. Ek bike and dusra mobile. Abhi mere pass dono hi nahi hai, varna bandi aaram se pat jati.
Now i have no idea why PK, who at that time had neither within 6 months bought both bike and mobile. I seriously hope it was not because of Tinnu's "expert" advice
2. Meena - Yaar school me ladkia mast thi, yaha pe sab ladkio me itna ghatiya attitude hai. Sab sali itni arrogant hai, useless. Dhang se baat bhi nahi karti hai. Bahut bhav khati hai. Sala kata lia, school me socha ye sab kaam college aake karenge. Pehle pata hota to!!! Fuck Man!!. School me 2 minute me pata leni thi bandi.
Ya!! In hindsight we trust
3. Tension to Tinnu - Tinnu sale tu to mast hai yaar. Ladkia sale marti hai tere upar. Hum to sale c***** hai. Ladkia mud ke bhi nahi dekhti. Kya yaar, teri jaise shakal hoti to pakka pata leta mai bandi. Fuck man.
Yes, Tension life is unfair
4. Singing Idol to yours truly- Sale tu chaman hai!! Meri bus height kam hai. Agar teri jitni hieght hoti na to pakka pata lena tha ladki ko.
5. Chota (On being asked by Naveen in 3rd year ki tu ladkio se baat kyo nahi kar pata) - Sale Kya!!! (Hands apart, body straight. I think you get the expression) Mujhe koi ladki pasand hi nahi hai, to kyo karu mai baat.
Mr Red Shoes - Abe simple baat karne me kya jata hai?
Chota - Abe hat, Jab ladkia mere standard ki hai hi nahi to kyo karu mai inse baat.
The next is the most scandalous, just like the person who said this -
6. Baniya (On being asked by Raj about not having a gf) - Mujhe Zaroorat nahi hai.
7. John - Yaar, mere sath comitmment issues hai. Mai ek hi bandi ke peeche nahi pad sakta. Meri life ka ek hi funda hai "Life is to enjoy!! Thats it"
8. PK - (He never said this, but i perfectly believe PK always thought ki going to gym and making a salman khan out of himself will ensure the hottest gal in DCE will come running in his lap. I am sure he is royally dissapointed and now laughing at himself reading this)
9. Skeleton Man - Yaar bahut time ki baat hai. Mai itna time nahi de sakta, kisi bhi bandi ko. Matlab apni personal life bhi hoti hai yaar.
The most hilarious one has to go to baba -
10. Baba - Abe apne group ka koi bhi banda 1 hafte ke andar bandi pata sakta hai. Abhi meri priorities alag hai. But jis din i finally decide ki bandi patani hai tujhe bata raha hu, ek hafta lagega
Some of the good ones from FMS.
1. GASMAN - Abe mujhe school me 3-4 proposal pade the, but sale sab reject kar diye. I am waiting for the right girl
Me to GASMAN - But tu kisi ladki se baat to karta nahi, tujhe pata kaise chalega ki she is the right girl
GASMAN - Sale jab wo aayegi tab apne aap pata chal jayega.
2. pITCHman (Talking about a really pretty FMSite) - Abe use to aaram se pata leta!!!
Chichora Bhopali - Sale!! Tujhe kaise pata??
pITCHman - Abe maine use ek mail kia tha, kuch poochne ke liye. Uska lamba sa reply aaya.
Chichora Bhopali - But sale usse kya?
pITCHman - Abe mail ki language se hi pata chal raha tha, she was totally interested. 15 din lagte mujhe use patane me
3. BP's Ex boyfriend - Bada confused hu yaar. Arre yaaha ki sab ladkia marti hai mere upar yaar, samajh hi nahi aa raha kise patau!!!!
@All FMS girls -- I will release the name of "BP's ex boyfriend" in return of a Giani's icecream :-)
PS: Watch this space!! More to follow
(Please note - Have tried to hide names in such a way that only those who are supposed to decipher them will be able to)
Listing a few here.
Just concentrate on the letters in bold, ladko ka confidence to dekho :-)
1. Tinnu (to PK in district center) - Beta!! Bandi patane ke liye sirf 2 cheeze zaroori hai. Ek bike and dusra mobile. Abhi mere pass dono hi nahi hai, varna bandi aaram se pat jati.
Now i have no idea why PK, who at that time had neither within 6 months bought both bike and mobile. I seriously hope it was not because of Tinnu's "expert" advice
2. Meena - Yaar school me ladkia mast thi, yaha pe sab ladkio me itna ghatiya attitude hai. Sab sali itni arrogant hai, useless. Dhang se baat bhi nahi karti hai. Bahut bhav khati hai. Sala kata lia, school me socha ye sab kaam college aake karenge. Pehle pata hota to!!! Fuck Man!!. School me 2 minute me pata leni thi bandi.
Ya!! In hindsight we trust
3. Tension to Tinnu - Tinnu sale tu to mast hai yaar. Ladkia sale marti hai tere upar. Hum to sale c***** hai. Ladkia mud ke bhi nahi dekhti. Kya yaar, teri jaise shakal hoti to pakka pata leta mai bandi. Fuck man.
Yes, Tension life is unfair
4. Singing Idol to yours truly- Sale tu chaman hai!! Meri bus height kam hai. Agar teri jitni hieght hoti na to pakka pata lena tha ladki ko.
5. Chota (On being asked by Naveen in 3rd year ki tu ladkio se baat kyo nahi kar pata) - Sale Kya!!! (Hands apart, body straight. I think you get the expression) Mujhe koi ladki pasand hi nahi hai, to kyo karu mai baat.
Mr Red Shoes - Abe simple baat karne me kya jata hai?
Chota - Abe hat, Jab ladkia mere standard ki hai hi nahi to kyo karu mai inse baat.
The next is the most scandalous, just like the person who said this -
6. Baniya (On being asked by Raj about not having a gf) - Mujhe Zaroorat nahi hai.
7. John - Yaar, mere sath comitmment issues hai. Mai ek hi bandi ke peeche nahi pad sakta. Meri life ka ek hi funda hai "Life is to enjoy!! Thats it"
8. PK - (He never said this, but i perfectly believe PK always thought ki going to gym and making a salman khan out of himself will ensure the hottest gal in DCE will come running in his lap. I am sure he is royally dissapointed and now laughing at himself reading this)
9. Skeleton Man - Yaar bahut time ki baat hai. Mai itna time nahi de sakta, kisi bhi bandi ko. Matlab apni personal life bhi hoti hai yaar.
The most hilarious one has to go to baba -
10. Baba - Abe apne group ka koi bhi banda 1 hafte ke andar bandi pata sakta hai. Abhi meri priorities alag hai. But jis din i finally decide ki bandi patani hai tujhe bata raha hu, ek hafta lagega
Some of the good ones from FMS.
1. GASMAN - Abe mujhe school me 3-4 proposal pade the, but sale sab reject kar diye. I am waiting for the right girl
Me to GASMAN - But tu kisi ladki se baat to karta nahi, tujhe pata kaise chalega ki she is the right girl
GASMAN - Sale jab wo aayegi tab apne aap pata chal jayega.
2. pITCHman (Talking about a really pretty FMSite) - Abe use to aaram se pata leta!!!
Chichora Bhopali - Sale!! Tujhe kaise pata??
pITCHman - Abe maine use ek mail kia tha, kuch poochne ke liye. Uska lamba sa reply aaya.
Chichora Bhopali - But sale usse kya?
pITCHman - Abe mail ki language se hi pata chal raha tha, she was totally interested. 15 din lagte mujhe use patane me
3. BP's Ex boyfriend - Bada confused hu yaar. Arre yaaha ki sab ladkia marti hai mere upar yaar, samajh hi nahi aa raha kise patau!!!!
@All FMS girls -- I will release the name of "BP's ex boyfriend" in return of a Giani's icecream :-)
PS: Watch this space!! More to follow
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The most boring cricketing stadium in the world
After watching India lose at Colombo once again i thought it was time to update the blog.
Some Stats: India's win against NZ yesterday was only the first time a team batting second won at colombo in 18 matches. The best chase at Premadasa is 271 in the year 2002. All the top 5 highest chases at the stadium happened before 2004. This, in times when scores in excess of 325 are not considered safe.
It was almost a feeling of deja vu when India came out to bat and struggled throughout the innings. Any average Indian cricket fan would have seen such a thing umpteen number of times at Colombo. Leave alone 300, i am sure India would not have chased even 220. The most disappointing thing was Tony grieg showering praises on to the Sri Lankan team, when the only thing they had done correct was winning the toss.Personally, i really hate watching matches in Lanka. They are slow, uninspiring, without any spice and added to it is the constant ranting of Mr Tony Grieg in ridiculous english accent. I have no clue why is he so biased towards the Lankan team. Had those been the stats of any Indian ground he would have ripped the ground authorities apart. I distinctly remember his comments on DDCA during a test match at Kotla. Kotla might still be one of the worst grounds in terms of facilities but atleast the teams have a fair and equal chance while playing.
In a time when the future of ODI cricket is being discussed at lengths in the ICC channels it is really disappointing to see such a run of events. If we continue to have such highly one sided matches where the toss will decide the result, we can surely bid farewell to the ODI game, a game on which our generation has grown up.
Some Stats: India's win against NZ yesterday was only the first time a team batting second won at colombo in 18 matches. The best chase at Premadasa is 271 in the year 2002. All the top 5 highest chases at the stadium happened before 2004. This, in times when scores in excess of 325 are not considered safe.
It was almost a feeling of deja vu when India came out to bat and struggled throughout the innings. Any average Indian cricket fan would have seen such a thing umpteen number of times at Colombo. Leave alone 300, i am sure India would not have chased even 220. The most disappointing thing was Tony grieg showering praises on to the Sri Lankan team, when the only thing they had done correct was winning the toss.Personally, i really hate watching matches in Lanka. They are slow, uninspiring, without any spice and added to it is the constant ranting of Mr Tony Grieg in ridiculous english accent. I have no clue why is he so biased towards the Lankan team. Had those been the stats of any Indian ground he would have ripped the ground authorities apart. I distinctly remember his comments on DDCA during a test match at Kotla. Kotla might still be one of the worst grounds in terms of facilities but atleast the teams have a fair and equal chance while playing.
In a time when the future of ODI cricket is being discussed at lengths in the ICC channels it is really disappointing to see such a run of events. If we continue to have such highly one sided matches where the toss will decide the result, we can surely bid farewell to the ODI game, a game on which our generation has grown up.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
T 20 cricket - a not so serious business
Pakis won the second edition of the T20 world cup. This happened at a time when pakistan cricket was at its lowest ebb. The tournament started with their captain commenting that they did not take T20 cricket seriously and it would not matter if they went out in the first round itself. This comment was not taken to very kindly by the authorities in Pakistan and Younis recieved a a strong reprimand. On the other hand, the million dollar babies and everybody's favorite Indian team was probably thankful that they were traveling straight to West Indies and did not have to face the wrath of the fickle Indian Supporter at the airport.
So was this world cup really a victory of David Vs Goliath or following a pattern that TT cricket has always followed - Victory for the underdog, or rather victory for the team which hasnt seriously thought of winning.
Compare this edition to the inaugural world cup. An average Indian cricket fan, who generally suffers from amnesia, will not remember the circumstances under which India went to South Africa for the 07 world cup. The blame game from the shameful exit of World Cup 07 was still on. The 3 big stalwarts had decided that the latest slam bang form of cricket was not for them. Probably they thought it was not serious enough to warrant there presence. India had only played one international T20 and it was the only country which still did not have a domestic T20 tournament. The warlords of the BCCI who now want a separate window for IPL in the ICC calender used to look at T20 with disdain and thought it was only for those countries were cricket is not popular. To make matters worse, Rahul Dravid decided to step down as the captain of the one day and test team on the opening day of the world cup. Obviously, he too thought it is not an important tournament and would not matter if it effected the team in South Africa. So overall this Indian team were huge outsiders with problems on and off the field. It was a team of youngsters who had probably just gone there to enjoy a foriegn country. The team did not have a full time coach which must have meant no complex strategies and analysis.
Now compare it to the IPL 1. No body gave the frugal Rajasthan Royals a chance. People obviously thought that it would be the big money spenders who will rule the roost. In IPL 2, the team at the bottom of the last IPL came up trumps.
So is it safe to conclude, that the best way to win a T20 tournament is to not be serious about it. Is it the game which requires no strategy and practice. A team which is uncorrupted by modern ideas on coaching and captaincy will be the one that ultimately rules the roost.
Doesnt it make T20 a stupid form of cricket akin to gully cricket where kids just come out decide on the rules and start playing. I am sure WG Grace would have turned in his grave when the first ball of T20 cricket was balled in the land where Test match was discovered.
So was this world cup really a victory of David Vs Goliath or following a pattern that TT cricket has always followed - Victory for the underdog, or rather victory for the team which hasnt seriously thought of winning.
Compare this edition to the inaugural world cup. An average Indian cricket fan, who generally suffers from amnesia, will not remember the circumstances under which India went to South Africa for the 07 world cup. The blame game from the shameful exit of World Cup 07 was still on. The 3 big stalwarts had decided that the latest slam bang form of cricket was not for them. Probably they thought it was not serious enough to warrant there presence. India had only played one international T20 and it was the only country which still did not have a domestic T20 tournament. The warlords of the BCCI who now want a separate window for IPL in the ICC calender used to look at T20 with disdain and thought it was only for those countries were cricket is not popular. To make matters worse, Rahul Dravid decided to step down as the captain of the one day and test team on the opening day of the world cup. Obviously, he too thought it is not an important tournament and would not matter if it effected the team in South Africa. So overall this Indian team were huge outsiders with problems on and off the field. It was a team of youngsters who had probably just gone there to enjoy a foriegn country. The team did not have a full time coach which must have meant no complex strategies and analysis.
Now compare it to the IPL 1. No body gave the frugal Rajasthan Royals a chance. People obviously thought that it would be the big money spenders who will rule the roost. In IPL 2, the team at the bottom of the last IPL came up trumps.
So is it safe to conclude, that the best way to win a T20 tournament is to not be serious about it. Is it the game which requires no strategy and practice. A team which is uncorrupted by modern ideas on coaching and captaincy will be the one that ultimately rules the roost.
Doesnt it make T20 a stupid form of cricket akin to gully cricket where kids just come out decide on the rules and start playing. I am sure WG Grace would have turned in his grave when the first ball of T20 cricket was balled in the land where Test match was discovered.
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