Thursday, January 14, 2010

Some facts about CV points

• Don’t look at others CV’s. They will always look better than yours. The points mentioned are as fake, exaggerated as your own. The only difference is, you know the reality of your own CV.

• Once you have made it, don’t even look at your own CV. There is a distinct chance that you will forget the exaggeration and give yourself too much airs. Btw, the feeling in the first point lasts only a few minutes. At the end of it, MY CV STRONGEST

• Even though the reason for every MBA’s existence is collection of CV points, they will still struggle to come up with 20 points in 730 days i.e a frequency of 1 CV point per 36.5 days. Which means 1 CV point per month. God save our country, if our budding CEO’s are so grossly inefficient

• Although, in office all of us were busy preparing for CAT,XAT,FMS we somehow managed to win some sort of recognition award.

• Your bosses are actually nice. Infact, you regret the days when you used to abuse them. In case, you abused him on his face. Well!! Sorry, you just missed the chance of a good CV point

• Remember even the most worthless thing you ever did. There is a distinct possibility that it would come across as your best CV point. That gully cricket tournament you won in 12th class(bunking coaching class test) can actually lend the perfect balance your otherwise geeky CV deserves.

• Probably the most important thing that you ever did in your life is not on your CV because you got cash prize or some other kind of appreciation from some special someone.

• We scientifically bold the most important words believing that the person who is going to shortlist is going to ignore the other words – Gee!! How smart we think we are or do we sincerely believe that the other person is a moron.

• Just in case you are from a top school, you will suddenly start to regret it. Because your friend from ABC school is able to write TOPPER IN SCHOOL with 86.8% and you cannot with 92%. This belief is again based on the sincere belief that the person who is going to read it is a moron.

• You would wish you were born in the smallest district in India, the moment you see
District topper(in bold), Jharsuguda (In small font) on your friends CV.
Sincere apologies to people living in Jharsuguda

• You will discover new bugs in Microsoft Office while working on your CV.

• If you are actually the way your CV(personals) suggests, you will hate yourself for your arrogance.

• You will suddenly develop eclectic habits (interests) so that you can put on your CV. Being natural is only an advice you give to your juniors.

• Unbelievingly, I write such lousy blogs so that I am able to put blogging as a hobby on my CV.