Wednesday, December 30, 2009

You know you are in FMS when

• "Step outside" are your favourite two words. So much so, that you get wierd dreams about them :-)

• In case you are an engineer, when you got admission your friends were most excited about the awesome DU girls you will get to meet.

• In the two years, you did not talk to a single Non FMS girl. Still, you boast about the crowd to your engineering friends.

• You love to move about in FMS Tshirts, Sweat shirts etc. So much so that you have such a huge collection that you hardly have any other clothes.

• In case you came into FMS single, you are still single.

• If you were committed when you came to FMS, you are still committed but the object(guy or the girl) has changed.

• If you are amongst the few non engineers, either make sure your economics is strong or run into hibernation before exams. Because the engineers will assume that you are an economics honours(even if you are a BA arts) and haggle you before the exams.

• In the first year, you felt the whole EB and the system sucks. When you entered the second year, you realized that status quo is the best way to move forward.

• You have SPAMMED more than once in your life. And have also shown disgust at somebody else’s SPAM.

• You freeride most of the things yet bitch about other people in the group freeriding.

• You are convinced that DSE canteen's food is much better than Anna's. Although there is no evidence to prove the same. As HV would say "Food is just an alibi" :-)

• You are amazed at how can anybody else come from outside to eat at Anna's.

• You realize some things need to be changed. But when they do, you create a furore and dare the person who changed them.

• You have not seen the cover of most of the books of the subject you have already passed.

• Youre favorite game is "Farmville". After 9 0 clock, you play Status message Status message.

• You participate in every damn college competition. Even if it is an operations or an HR game and you are a hardcore finance person. Btw, you have kicked ass of other B schooler's before. :-)

• You do social work to build up CV points. Infact, you believe that the very reason for human existence is "collection of CV points”

• You are an absolute stud at google search.

• Your most often visited websites are uncyclopedia, and

• You feel Deepak bhaiyaa is the most important person on campus, particularly at the end of the semester.

• You are convinced marks are given by a random number generator

• You are not allowed to talk about the people in the corner room. (Even on such a useless blog) Although each of you has an opinion on them.

• No matter how busy you are, you will definitely find time to read such silly attempts of your batchmates.

• If this blog becomes too famous, media secy will screw me. :-)

PS 1: 2-3 points are straight copy paste from "You know you are in DCE community" on Facebook. I apologize for the plagiarism. But i dont think the concerned person will mind. I never said I am original.
PS 2 : Ok, the ideas mentioned might be slightly prejudistic in nature. But i dont really care.
PS 3: People please contribute further

Monday, November 16, 2009

Best excuses for not having a GF

I think in the 6 years of my DCE and FMS life I have heard the best excuses for not having a girlfriend. For starters, most of my friends are single and desperate to mingle and everyone has a theory for single hood.
(Please note - Have tried to hide names in such a way that only those who are supposed to decipher them will be able to)

Listing a few here.

Just concentrate on the letters in bold, ladko ka confidence to dekho :-)

1. Tinnu (to PK in district center) - Beta!! Bandi patane ke liye sirf 2 cheeze zaroori hai. Ek bike and dusra mobile. Abhi mere pass dono hi nahi hai, varna bandi aaram se pat jati.
Now i have no idea why PK, who at that time had neither within 6 months bought both bike and mobile. I seriously hope it was not because of Tinnu's "expert" advice

2. Meena - Yaar school me ladkia mast thi, yaha pe sab ladkio me itna ghatiya attitude hai. Sab sali itni arrogant hai, useless. Dhang se baat bhi nahi karti hai. Bahut bhav khati hai. Sala kata lia, school me socha ye sab kaam college aake karenge. Pehle pata hota to!!! Fuck Man!!. School me 2 minute me pata leni thi bandi.

Ya!! In hindsight we trust

3. Tension to Tinnu - Tinnu sale tu to mast hai yaar. Ladkia sale marti hai tere upar. Hum to sale c***** hai. Ladkia mud ke bhi nahi dekhti. Kya yaar, teri jaise shakal hoti to pakka pata leta mai bandi. Fuck man.

Yes, Tension life is unfair

4. Singing Idol to yours truly- Sale tu chaman hai!! Meri bus height kam hai. Agar teri jitni hieght hoti na to pakka pata lena tha ladki ko.

5. Chota (On being asked by Naveen in 3rd year ki tu ladkio se baat kyo nahi kar pata) - Sale Kya!!! (Hands apart, body straight. I think you get the expression) Mujhe koi ladki pasand hi nahi hai, to kyo karu mai baat.

Mr Red Shoes - Abe simple baat karne me kya jata hai?

Chota - Abe hat, Jab ladkia mere standard ki hai hi nahi to kyo karu mai inse baat.

The next is the most scandalous, just like the person who said this -
6. Baniya (On being asked by Raj about not having a gf) - Mujhe Zaroorat nahi hai.

7. John - Yaar, mere sath comitmment issues hai. Mai ek hi bandi ke peeche nahi pad sakta. Meri life ka ek hi funda hai "Life is to enjoy!! Thats it"

8. PK - (He never said this, but i perfectly believe PK always thought ki going to gym and making a salman khan out of himself will ensure the hottest gal in DCE will come running in his lap. I am sure he is royally dissapointed and now laughing at himself reading this)

9. Skeleton Man - Yaar bahut time ki baat hai. Mai itna time nahi de sakta, kisi bhi bandi ko. Matlab apni personal life bhi hoti hai yaar.

The most hilarious one has to go to baba -

10. Baba - Abe apne group ka koi bhi banda 1 hafte ke andar bandi pata sakta hai. Abhi meri priorities alag hai. But jis din i finally decide ki bandi patani hai tujhe bata raha hu, ek hafta lagega

Some of the good ones from FMS.

1. GASMAN - Abe mujhe school me 3-4 proposal pade the, but sale sab reject kar diye. I am waiting for the right girl
Me to GASMAN - But tu kisi ladki se baat to karta nahi, tujhe pata kaise chalega ki she is the right girl
GASMAN - Sale jab wo aayegi tab apne aap pata chal jayega.

2. pITCHman (Talking about a really pretty FMSite) - Abe use to aaram se pata leta!!!
Chichora Bhopali - Sale!! Tujhe kaise pata??
pITCHman - Abe maine use ek mail kia tha, kuch poochne ke liye. Uska lamba sa reply aaya.
Chichora Bhopali - But sale usse kya?
pITCHman - Abe mail ki language se hi pata chal raha tha, she was totally interested. 15 din lagte mujhe use patane me

3. BP's Ex boyfriend - Bada confused hu yaar. Arre yaaha ki sab ladkia marti hai mere upar yaar, samajh hi nahi aa raha kise patau!!!!
@All FMS girls -- I will release the name of "BP's ex boyfriend" in return of a Giani's icecream :-)

PS: Watch this space!! More to follow

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The most boring cricketing stadium in the world

After watching India lose at Colombo once again i thought it was time to update the blog.

Some Stats: India's win against NZ yesterday was only the first time a team batting second won at colombo in 18 matches. The best chase at Premadasa is 271 in the year 2002. All the top 5 highest chases at the stadium happened before 2004. This, in times when scores in excess of 325 are not considered safe.

It was almost a feeling of deja vu when India came out to bat and struggled throughout the innings. Any average Indian cricket fan would have seen such a thing umpteen number of times at Colombo. Leave alone 300, i am sure India would not have chased even 220. The most disappointing thing was Tony grieg showering praises on to the Sri Lankan team, when the only thing they had done correct was winning the toss.Personally, i really hate watching matches in Lanka. They are slow, uninspiring, without any spice and added to it is the constant ranting of Mr Tony Grieg in ridiculous english accent. I have no clue why is he so biased towards the Lankan team. Had those been the stats of any Indian ground he would have ripped the ground authorities apart. I distinctly remember his comments on DDCA during a test match at Kotla. Kotla might still be one of the worst grounds in terms of facilities but atleast the teams have a fair and equal chance while playing.

In a time when the future of ODI cricket is being discussed at lengths in the ICC channels it is really disappointing to see such a run of events. If we continue to have such highly one sided matches where the toss will decide the result, we can surely bid farewell to the ODI game, a game on which our generation has grown up.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

T 20 cricket - a not so serious business

Pakis won the second edition of the T20 world cup. This happened at a time when pakistan cricket was at its lowest ebb. The tournament started with their captain commenting that they did not take T20 cricket seriously and it would not matter if they went out in the first round itself. This comment was not taken to very kindly by the authorities in Pakistan and Younis recieved a a strong reprimand. On the other hand, the million dollar babies and everybody's favorite Indian team was probably thankful that they were traveling straight to West Indies and did not have to face the wrath of the fickle Indian Supporter at the airport.
So was this world cup really a victory of David Vs Goliath or following a pattern that TT cricket has always followed - Victory for the underdog, or rather victory for the team which hasnt seriously thought of winning.
Compare this edition to the inaugural world cup. An average Indian cricket fan, who generally suffers from amnesia, will not remember the circumstances under which India went to South Africa for the 07 world cup. The blame game from the shameful exit of World Cup 07 was still on. The 3 big stalwarts had decided that the latest slam bang form of cricket was not for them. Probably they thought it was not serious enough to warrant there presence. India had only played one international T20 and it was the only country which still did not have a domestic T20 tournament. The warlords of the BCCI who now want a separate window for IPL in the ICC calender used to look at T20 with disdain and thought it was only for those countries were cricket is not popular. To make matters worse, Rahul Dravid decided to step down as the captain of the one day and test team on the opening day of the world cup. Obviously, he too thought it is not an important tournament and would not matter if it effected the team in South Africa. So overall this Indian team were huge outsiders with problems on and off the field. It was a team of youngsters who had probably just gone there to enjoy a foriegn country. The team did not have a full time coach which must have meant no complex strategies and analysis.
Now compare it to the IPL 1. No body gave the frugal Rajasthan Royals a chance. People obviously thought that it would be the big money spenders who will rule the roost. In IPL 2, the team at the bottom of the last IPL came up trumps.

So is it safe to conclude, that the best way to win a T20 tournament is to not be serious about it. Is it the game which requires no strategy and practice. A team which is uncorrupted by modern ideas on coaching and captaincy will be the one that ultimately rules the roost.

Doesnt it make T20 a stupid form of cricket akin to gully cricket where kids just come out decide on the rules and start playing. I am sure WG Grace would have turned in his grave when the first ball of T20 cricket was balled in the land where Test match was discovered.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Why i quit studying and became a back bencher

After another disappointing result, I have decided to reveal the secret of why i quit studying. Now i know this is not something you want to know, but why the hell do i care. This is my space, and i can write wateva i want to.

Semester: III
Venue : JCB hostel, DCE
Occasion : A day before Power Apparatus Exam

I am sure the whole electrical engg deptt of 2k3 batch will distinctly remember this exam. For the uninitiated, the course was as follows -
1. Electrical Machines - PS Bhimbra - First 250 Pages
2. Transformers - JB Say - 10 pages

Now if you have read PS Bhimbra you would have noticed there is a very interesting phenomenon associated with the book. You understand everything when you read it for the first time. When you read it the second time, you realize that whateva you understood the first time was completely out of order. So you try the third time and this time you get a single concept. The fourth time second concept and so on.

I had already read Bhimbra once but was at that time unaware about the above formula. So i was feeling quite confident about the exam everyone was dreading. When i entered JCB 117 "Saxo's stinking room next to Toilet", i witnessed the scene and honestly "Sabki Fati padi thi". I thought i can at least do better than these guys tomoro. Obviously, the worse was waiting for me. As i started "revising" the second time i realized that i am in a worse soup than everybody else. Coz now i was in the phase of unlearning. As i raised doubts, Prakhar, kalla and Kakkar fought to clear those. Obviously the ghissus of the batch had by then finished the course a zillion times. Anyways after slogging for 14 hours of PS bhimbra like a madman, i managed to finish the entire chapter and went of to sleep feeling confident that i will manage atleast 10 out of 20.

When we got the paper the next day, it had just three questions, All from the 10 pages from JB Say. I remember discussing the different first reactions of students on seeing the paper. I am not a good enough writer to put those in words. After more than 14 hours of intensive studying my paper was over in 10 minutes. Stunned i was looking all around. It was a great solace to find even more stunned faces around. Only Rahul Kalia was smiling. He had obviously studied the 10 pages and was passing that 24 carat colgate smile to everyone. I really felt like kicking him right there.

I managed a grand score of 4/20. Saxo, Raj and Sinha were behind me. That was the day i realized there is no use of studying in DU. A lot of things depend on luck. Either you are a prakhar or Rahul who will be able to complete the entire course or you are a bank bencher.
From that fateful day, i have started relying on luck before every exam. Infact that did work for me once. In Fin Acc in First Sem FMS i managed 80. Obv, i did not deserve it. I hope i get more such luck in the last two semester of my DU life.

Some other notable things that happened that day -
1. Baba made that Legendary quote " T***e Short ho gaye". The quote is now a part of Bawana folklore and infact i heard someone quote it before our Management Accounting exam in FMS 2nd sem.

2. Sougata Roy was spotted studying for the first time on campus.

3. Kakkar lost 4Kgs making 10 runs at 50Km/hr from his room on 4th floor to the ground floor.

4. Kalra once again proved how harami he is. He had a pretty stupid Mechanics paper the next day in which he managed 18 odd. He rubbed it in the night dinner.

5. Prakhar Jain turned 19. God save the earth.

Monday, June 15, 2009

My summer experience

View this link

The most boring job in the world

As a part of our summer experience M&M took us to their Scorpio plant. It is a wonderful plant with most of the parts assembled automatically. Watching a complete body of Scorpio being assembled within 2.5 minutes via a completely automated process was really exciting. But besides the body there are numerous operations done on the car before it comes out and all these are done on an assembly line with manual operations.
On watching them for more than 5 minutes i realized that these workers end up doing the same job, and i mean the exact same job with a repetition cycle of 5 minutes throughout the day, 6 days in a week, throughout the year. And this continuously for at least 3 - 4 years.
Imagine standing 2 feet below the ground level the whole day. And screwing the same screws 500 times in day. This is a helluva job i suppose. I never felt like this before but a workers job must be tiring not only physically but mentally also.

PS: Robin, Kanika, Sinha and all others working in a plant. I pity you all :-)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mumbai facts

Now that I have decided to continue with the blog, I will start with a few facts that Mumbai people inherently believe in –
1. Mumbai is the cleanest city in India. (Perhaps that’s why people sleep on the street itself)
2. All north Indians are SOB’s with no ethics. (Have you heard the names Raj and Bal thackery)
3. Delhi is a city full of goons and pickpockets. (It is a different matter that somebody stole my phone. Obviously it must have been a north Indian)
4. All marathis must support Mumbai Indians. When I told them in fluent Marathi that I am die hard Delhi daredevils fan, the shock on their faces was priceless
5. Ajinkya Rahane is the best young batsmen in India. (I hope he turns out to be )
6. Mumbai players cannot get selected in the Indian team unless they are as good as Sachin. Obviously they have conveniently forgotten the pain Ajit agarkar and Wasim Jaffer have inflicted on Indian cricket fans.
7. Mumbai Local is as good as Delhi Metro. (Oh God!! Please forgive them, they don’t know what they are saying)
8. “Kanda”, “Batata” and “Ghai” are Hindi words. (lol)
9. Mumbai is the financial capital of india. (That’s why they are the host to the biggest slum in India)
And now the last one which has caused me the most pain.
10. There is no concept of MRP (More on this one later. But did I hear all goons are in delhi )

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Wall

Rahul Dravid for me is not just a cricketer. For me he has been more than an idol. Whatver he signifies on the field is probably the way i have led my life, atleast before DCE changed me. Rahul dravid scored 95 in his debut match. Some Sourav Ganguly had choosen the same match to score a century on debut. The fate was sealed the same day. Rahul Dravid, the proverbial nice guy would continue to be the quite follower for the next 10 years. For young boys of the 90's, it was imperative to be fan of one and yes only one amongst the two. You can either be a die hard Ganguly or Dravid fan. The reason perhaps was they were so different in nature. I was by nature one of those good boys who tend to follow all the rules parents set for them. May be we are afraid to do something else. May be we feel obliged to follow all instructions. The jury is out on this issue. You are free to make up your own mind. Anyways, so i was a Rahul Dravid fan. As rahul was establshing himself as criketing icons, i remember the numerous fights i picked up in school with my class fellows over who was better. Infact, i met one of them a month back and the issue we fought on was same. Who is better Rahul or Sourav!!!! This is how all kids of my age spend there childhood. I quickly realized, and i think rahul too that we were not the most talented in the field we choose for ourselves. For Rahul there was Sachin and for me there were many guys in class who were much more intelligent than me. But by 1999, Rahul started to emerge as the most reliable batsman. It was surprisingly the same time, i finally started scoring well in school. Afterall, like Rahul's straight bat, i had decided that if i have to succeed i will need to work hard, really hard and boy for the next four years i did. I feel that even in the rigours of my MBA education i have never worked as hard as i did in those years of my school life. I just secured 85 percent in 10th. Normally, it would be considered a good score. But not for me, for me life meant more. Like my idol had once said after falling on 92 in West Indies " When i retire, i do not want to be considered as a good player who played for India, I want to be remembered as one of the greatest batsmen ever to play for India". Probably these were the kind of words that inspired me. Like almost all middle class boys my dream was IIT, Rahul Dravid's was to become the greatest batsman in the world. The years 2001 to 2003 were really great years for dravid where people finally started recognising his true potential. At the same time my performance was improving by the day, and i was winning over the respect of my classmates. The same classmates who initially thought of me as an average student, suddenly started thinking of me as someone who is truly talented. A rank was 3474 in IIT was not exactly the kind of result i was expecting. It was time for a reality check and i got through Delhi College Of Engineering. The parallels end here. Because DCE was going to change my life forever. Rahul Dravid's best year was 2003. It was the same for me. Thereafter, i changed the way i led my life and thankfully dravid continued on his own way.

The nice guy that was Rahul Dravid was finally handed over the captaincy, and some smart person decided to write an autobiography on his life - The nice guy who finished first. I thought to myself, Great finally rahul is going to get what he truly deserves. I think in life there are certain people who have to struggle throught there life. Probably the same thing happened to dravid. He had his worst failure in the 2007 world cup. The tearful exit from the world cup probably ended the debate once and for all - Nice Guys indeed, never finish first. Sourav had the perfect ending to his career, beating Australia in his final match. Even the most die hard fan that i am, i feel that Dravid's time is shortly going to come to an end. Will he get a proper retirement or will his career finish the way it had started......I hope, i sincerely hope it has a happy ending.
Dedicated to my whole generation that grew up with dravid and ganguly's career and for whom imagining a cricket team without the names of dravid, ganguly and sachin are very difficult to imagine.

My first blog

I am not sure that i am good enough a writer to be able to write a blog. But just got inspiration from one of my friend's blog and decided to plunge right away. I might leave this idea in a few days but since i have time right now. I write really poor SOP's and may be writing like this will help me improve my writing skills. So i will probably start with a very brief introduction.

I did my engineering from Delhi College Of Engineering, probably the best place to do your engineering from. Yes i have very biased opinion. I am currently pursuing my MBA from Faculty Of Management Studies, Delhi. Yes i have been lucky to get the best possible public education available in the country.