I think in the 6 years of my DCE and FMS life I have heard the best excuses for not having a girlfriend. For starters, most of my friends are single and desperate to mingle and everyone has a theory for single hood.
(Please note - Have tried to hide names in such a way that only those who are supposed to decipher them will be able to)
Listing a few here.
Just concentrate on the letters in bold, ladko ka confidence to dekho :-)
1. Tinnu (to PK in district center) - Beta!! Bandi patane ke liye sirf 2 cheeze zaroori hai. Ek bike and dusra mobile. Abhi mere pass dono hi nahi hai, varna bandi aaram se pat jati.
Now i have no idea why PK, who at that time had neither within 6 months bought both bike and mobile. I seriously hope it was not because of Tinnu's "expert" advice
2. Meena - Yaar school me ladkia mast thi, yaha pe sab ladkio me itna ghatiya attitude hai. Sab sali itni arrogant hai, useless. Dhang se baat bhi nahi karti hai. Bahut bhav khati hai. Sala kata lia, school me socha ye sab kaam college aake karenge. Pehle pata hota to!!! Fuck Man!!. School me 2 minute me pata leni thi bandi.
Ya!! In hindsight we trust
3. Tension to Tinnu - Tinnu sale tu to mast hai yaar. Ladkia sale marti hai tere upar. Hum to sale c***** hai. Ladkia mud ke bhi nahi dekhti. Kya yaar, teri jaise shakal hoti to pakka pata leta mai bandi. Fuck man.
Yes, Tension life is unfair
4. Singing Idol to yours truly- Sale tu chaman hai!! Meri bus height kam hai. Agar teri jitni hieght hoti na to pakka pata lena tha ladki ko.
5. Chota (On being asked by Naveen in 3rd year ki tu ladkio se baat kyo nahi kar pata) - Sale Kya!!! (Hands apart, body straight. I think you get the expression) Mujhe koi ladki pasand hi nahi hai, to kyo karu mai baat.
Mr Red Shoes - Abe simple baat karne me kya jata hai?
Chota - Abe hat, Jab ladkia mere standard ki hai hi nahi to kyo karu mai inse baat.
The next is the most scandalous, just like the person who said this -
6. Baniya (On being asked by Raj about not having a gf) - Mujhe Zaroorat nahi hai.
7. John - Yaar, mere sath comitmment issues hai. Mai ek hi bandi ke peeche nahi pad sakta. Meri life ka ek hi funda hai "Life is to enjoy!! Thats it"
8. PK - (He never said this, but i perfectly believe PK always thought ki going to gym and making a salman khan out of himself will ensure the hottest gal in DCE will come running in his lap. I am sure he is royally dissapointed and now laughing at himself reading this)
9. Skeleton Man - Yaar bahut time ki baat hai. Mai itna time nahi de sakta, kisi bhi bandi ko. Matlab apni personal life bhi hoti hai yaar.
The most hilarious one has to go to baba -
10. Baba - Abe apne group ka koi bhi banda 1 hafte ke andar bandi pata sakta hai. Abhi meri priorities alag hai. But jis din i finally decide ki bandi patani hai tujhe bata raha hu, ek hafta lagega
Some of the good ones from FMS.
1. GASMAN - Abe mujhe school me 3-4 proposal pade the, but sale sab reject kar diye. I am waiting for the right girl
Me to GASMAN - But tu kisi ladki se baat to karta nahi, tujhe pata kaise chalega ki she is the right girl
GASMAN - Sale jab wo aayegi tab apne aap pata chal jayega.
2. pITCHman (Talking about a really pretty FMSite) - Abe use to aaram se pata leta!!!
Chichora Bhopali - Sale!! Tujhe kaise pata??
pITCHman - Abe maine use ek mail kia tha, kuch poochne ke liye. Uska lamba sa reply aaya.
Chichora Bhopali - But sale usse kya?
pITCHman - Abe mail ki language se hi pata chal raha tha, she was totally interested. 15 din lagte mujhe use patane me
3. BP's Ex boyfriend - Bada confused hu yaar. Arre yaaha ki sab ladkia marti hai mere upar yaar, samajh hi nahi aa raha kise patau!!!!
@All FMS girls -- I will release the name of "BP's ex boyfriend" in return of a Giani's icecream :-)
PS: Watch this space!! More to follow