Wednesday, September 29, 2010

IIPM to introduce CWG case study in course curriculum

(Disclaimer: This blog was written for (under my pseudo name freeriding sid) and did not get published. The information is fake) Diclaimer added after i recieved random mails asking for the case study -- True story :P

New Delhi: IIPM director Arindam Chaudhari declared yesterday that IIPM would create a case study on the management of the commonwealth games 2010. IIPM reported that they have identified CWG 2010 as an exemplary example of HR management and hope that students can learn something out of it. Not only did Commonwealth Games authorities followed the super popular JIT technique by completing all tasks right at the eleventh hour bringing down the maintenance cost to almost zero levels, they also managed to keep all the employees happy and cheerful by providing them best in class remunerations.

Arindam Chaudhari in addressing a press conference declared that the case study is revolutionary in the sense that for the first time a case study will talk about employee engagement. The organizing committee has had an attrition rate of almost zero percent despite all opposition from the customers. Shah Rukh Khan one of the faculties at IIPM talked to freeriding sid. He said “All management principles talk only about customers ignoring the employees completely even though they form the most important part of any organization. We at IIPM are always looking towards creating revolutionary management principles and ideas. We hope that this case study would lead to better HR policies amongst Indian companies”

Arindam declared that IIPM which is already an established leader amongst Indian business schools has taken this step to challenge the hegemony of Harvard Business School in creating business case studies. “All Indian business schools have to study cases of Indian companies published in HBR. We at IIPM feel that we can create better caselets than HBS. This will enable us to take on the business schools from all across the world” Said Arindam Chaudhari in a press conference. Arindam said that he hoped to come up with an IIPM business review(IBR) similar to the HBR with more such Indian examples. The tagline of the IBR would be “Dare to think beyond HBR and Toyota”

Monday, September 13, 2010

You know you are addicted to facebook when

I am seriously appalled by the callousness of my friends who keep wasting time on facebook. While I waste my time blogging, which I feel is a social cause and can be passed on as CSR, others are simply whiling away time on facebook. I feel most of my friends are addicted and need some serious counseling. To help them out I did some serious research and came up with the most clear cut indicators of facebook addiction.

1. You know you have had too much of facebook when you want bad things to happen to yourself so that you can put up a sympathy arousing, witty or funny status message.

2. You suggested your boss that social media is the most revolutionary marketing tool ever discovered and your company should definitely invest in it before the competition reaches there. Since your boss is a gullabe 50 year old nice guy (and internet illeterate), he gave you the entire responsibility of the project. Now you facebook the entire day under the facade of doing valuable business for the company.

3. More than once in your life you have had a very strange conversation with a hot (Acc to DCE/NSIT/NIT standards) chick you met for the first time. Not because you are a dork but because you knew absolutely everything about her (her college, hometown, places she has visited, even her commitment status and specially her mutual friends) and she refused to even acknowledge your name. Trust me,if you are a smart ass you can use it to your advantage by preempting things she is about to say.

4. On the subject of mutual friends, you will always find one guy who is a mutual friend of all the girls you checked out on facebook. Dont worry, he is one of those loser guys who send “will you be my fraaand?” requests to everyone and sometimes get lucky. Instead of being jealous, you should thank him. It is because of such wierdos that you are being allowed access to profiles you have no right to. (Seriously how cheap and despo some people can be!! Wink wink)

5. The only newspaper articles, reports, videos, sports events you have followed in the past week have been the ones posted on the walls of your friends.

6. Thanks to the above point you have developed a very strong opinion about all matters and are not shy to express it. This situation becomes dangerous when you start thinking that your opinion matters. It is at this stage that you should start searching a psychiatrist. In case you cannot find one, contact Chetan Bhagat and Times of india. They are looking for revolutionaries in their mission to malign CWG2010.

7. You judge people according to the number of likes received to their comments. Actually, you get into depression when your crush does not like your SM. You get angry on seeing the way all guys are hell bent on liking all the comments (even drab stupid ones) made by the hottest damsel of your class. (How pathetic can guys be )

8. You know it for a fact that status updates of all girls are witless, brainless and humorless. Yet you make it a point to like these status messages. You never know when you can get lucky. (Return to point number 7)

9. You have committed absolute blunders while updating your profile. For example: You updated “Cheated in exams” when your professor was in your friend list or you changed your relationship status without informing the girl or boy who is supposed to be the reason of your commitment.

In case you are doing any of the above I would seriously advice you to quit facebooking and help me in making the very important presentation that I am supposed to be working on currently. Don’t call me a freerider. As I already mentioned blogging is a social cause.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Why we should support CWG 2010 despite being “loot-fest”

(For a change, this time no humor is intended. If you find the article funny it is reflective of my poor writing skills so please refrain from commenting)

Chetan Bhagat has called for a revolution. He wants us to boycott the commonwealth games so that we can teach the authorities a lesson. I am sure all the modern day revolutionaries (read as losers, bloggers, MBA’s and engineers) are all fired up and ready to start a candle light march to Jantar Mantar. I would love to view such a path breaking event (You see, I am a blogger and a loser and an MBA + Engineer). Unfortunately, there happens to be an ardent sports fan inside me who is yelling at me to support the games. I decided to listen to him for once and pen down all the reasons to support the games. I can go on my revolutionary path later. –

1. Our(Modern revolutionaries) clones in Mumbai raised their voice for 20 days after 26/11. I was so excited that finally something good is going to happen. My B school friends were discussing politics instead of the usual chit chat about mergers and acquisitions (See, I cannot risk FMS’s rankings by telling the truth here :P). Unfortunately, everything was soon forgotten and in the next general elections Mumbai’s voting percentage was 41%.
Hence these revolutions never work out. So why not trying supporting the games instead?

2. Suresh Kalamadi must have read the article and called up Lalit Bhanot – CWG manager.
SK – Dude, did u read the times of India editorial. I didn’t understand. Is the article against us? What are they boycotting? Should we oppose the article in public?
Mr Bhanot – No, No sir, He is writing about punishing the athletes who keep threatening us to boycott the games.
SK – Ya, damn these tennis players and hockey stars. They just want their salaries. No pride at playing for the nation man. What nonsense!!.
Mr Bhanot – Exactly, when they play in front of empty stands they would learn their lesson. They would realize that nobody really wants them and its only us who love them.
SK – Hmm, so I guess we should support this “revolution”.
Mr Bhanot – Yes sir, I will advice not to say anything. As it is the games are already a success.
SK- Huh? They havent even started. What are u talking about?
Mr Bhanot - Sir, (Sheepish Grin) Look at your bank balance sir. Is there a better return on ivestment offer?
SK - (Sheepish Grin) Oh yeah!!! lol, rofl. Long live revolution, down with money laundering sportstars. (Sheepish Grin again)

Even I feel such materialistic players should be taught a lesson. Playing for the country is the biggest honour. Why ask for money? As it is, they are going to lose to the better trained foreign nationals. So why should I bother to spend my well earned money on losers. But the stupid sports fan inside me says no, I should go out and cheer these poor asses

3. Another reason that forces me not to be part of such a revolution is my mom. She always forces me to clean my room when guests come visiting my home. I am supposed to be at my best behavior and asked specifically not to be my usual self (lol, something they advice us to do at Bschools. Of course she is not an MBA). I simply hate such hypocrisy but have to heed to her advice. And the sports fan inside me tells me to follow the same principle when it comes to the question of my country. Huh, hypocrites I tell you!! :(

For my complete opinion, visit the link