England reached a new nadir yesterday. But still I feel it’s a smart idea to support them. Here are a few top reasons why we should continue to support England at the WC –
1. If they win, you are entertained. If they lose, the british media ensures that you are super entertained.
2. If you watch their matches as a neutral, you will get so bored that you will doze off. Hence better support the three lions.
3. Watch the English team very closely. Their resemblance to the Indian cricket team is uncanny. Highly paid non performing superstars. Infact there are quite a few man to man parallels. For every Wayne Rooney we have Yuvraj Singh (angry young men), For every Frank Lampard we have Suresh Raina (Brilliant in the local league, pussycats abroad), For every Robert Green we have Ravindra Jadeja (Poor single error scape goats), For every Wayne bridge we have …(Well there are some differences of course) but I am sure Virat Kohli will suffer a similar fate.
4. The parallels don’t end here. Football is not the national sport of England, just like cricket is not the national sport of India. The people though are as madly in love with football and hence are equally tormented after some defeat. Thus we should have sympathy for the English players. Actually the English Football team is a fair reflection of the Indian cricket team in 100 years time when even the IPL will hardly have any Indian players playing.
5. When you look at Emile Heskey, you realize no matter how pathetic you have been throughout the year, no matter even if your local club doesn’t consider you good enough for a start, there is always someone somewhere who loves you and respects you. In heskey’s case, it is Capello.
6. No matter which side you support, goal keeping errors are always fun to watch and become a part of history. Some stupid game show might run a quiz years later asking you what happened next. Thus you can win some realy bounty in 10 years time, thanks to Robert Green, David James and Paul Robinson.
7. Watching them Chelsea fans would realize Rooney does not have such a great first touch, Man U fans would realize Lampard misses more shots than he scores, Arsenal fans realize Lennon should be sprinter instead of a footballer, Liverpool fans would find out that there are no evertonians in the entire squad. Classic case of finding out that grass was greener when you were on the other side. These points will give you bragging points in the most important EPL battle next year.
PS: Loyal fans cannot find out mistakes in their own players. I still find lampard and terry are playing at their best ever.
8. Even if they lose every match, each match is a story of David Vs Goliath, giant killing action. Such stories are always exciting to know. It inspires us and fills us with a dream that one day even the Indian football team will beat the English.
9. There are loads of cute, pretty blondes crying in the crowd. Just in case you happen to be on the ground you might want to lend a shoulder. For girls, you can see David Beckham cry.
10. Perhaps the most important lesson you learn watching the English team is philosophical in nature. Higher wages don’t necessarily produce winning results. This gives the HR a new excuse to start a new team building campaign crap which would mean a paid holiday for the entire office is just around the corner.