Thursday, June 24, 2010

Sensational revelation: Mahut accepts the marathon match was fixed

In a sensational revelation, Nicolos Mahut has accepted that the marathon match was staged by the two players in order to attain fame and immortality. After being interrogated for nearly 3 hours by the London police, a very emotional Mahut broke down and accepted the crime. He said “I am a bloody court no 18 player. A court number 18 player lives at court no 18 and dies at court no 18”. He almost broke down saying “I have been a professional for 10 years now and nobody knows me. I come here, win one or two matches at outside courts and nobody sees. Then sometimes they throw me against Federer, Nadal or roddick on center court and everybody marvels at my haplessness”. While coming to Wimbledon, my 5 year old kid wished me “Dad! I hope you atleast win one match this time”. I was absolutely shattered to hear this and when I learnt that John Isner my good outside court friend was my opponent I devised this plan. I told Isner that we could become legends: greater than Federer or Roddick and he acquiesced. He agreed on the condition that I would ultimately let him win.

The British Police reported that the investigation was done because of allegations made by an unknown Pakistani cricketer Rashid Latif, who is an absolute expert on match fixing in sports. “I saw the match on television and immediately had the feeling this is not right. How can they hit so many aces in the 5th set? After having investigated match fixing for the past 15 years in cricket, it didn’t take me long to understand the conspiracy. I immediately called my friend Danish Kaneria, who has good contacts with the British police and they reacted instantly.” Latif said.

A visibly triumphant Latif who could be nominated for an OBE said in a press conference “ I played the game in a certain way. I walked every time I got out, never appealed unnecessarily and always played within the spirit of the game. I want to see all sports being run the same way. I would treat this as a very small victory. I am not going to keep quiet until all sports are set free from corruption. I hope they start respecting me more in my own country after this episode.”

PS: The post is obviously a work of fiction :-)