(Written for fakingnews.com. The information is completely false inspired from past incidents)
Nagpur: In what could turn out to be another extremely damaging controversy for Indian cricket, Shantakumaran Sreesanth popularly known as appam chutia has revealed that Harbhajan Singh had threatened to beat him up if he failed to protect his wicket till bhajji completed his century in the just concluded Hyderabad test. Sreesanth in a frank conversation with Freeriding sid said that as soon as he walked out to be bat in Hyderabad Bhajji came up to him and said “Pichli baar ka thappad bhula to nahi?? Is baar aur jor ki khayega.” Sreesanth said he was shocked by Bhajji’s callousness and was so scared that he forgot to play his natural game. “No matter what the situation, I always play my natural game which basically consists of hitting fast bowlers back over their head for a six and then dancing a Rajnikanth style dance. Remember Andre Nel?? Unfortunately, I couldn’t do the same in this innings.”
Sreesanth reported that what made the situation worse was that Chris Martin was bowling who constantly kept taunting him and asked him to see “Bat like Chris Martin” videos on you tube and pick up a copy of his batting guide. “I so wanted to show him that I am the best number 11 in the world.” a visibly emotional and shaken Sreesanth told the media. Being compared to Chris Martin is like the ultimate insult for any self respecting number 11 and SreeSanth has vowed to teach the kiwi speedster a lesson in the Nagpur test.
BCCI officials told the media that they are more concerned with the kochi IPL issue and this issue will be handled once that is resolved. Arindam Chaudhari, the management guru who was not asked for any opinion by anyone has created a new management theory on the issue which will be published in the next edition of his People magazine. He calls it the Ass theory which argues that to get the best out of an ass like Sreesanth you needed an asshole boss. Harbhajan proved this theory in action in Hyderabad. Arindam Chaudhari who has been consistently ranked amongst the biggest assholes in the country said that his ass theory will be taught at his business school from next year and hoped to rope in Harbhajan as a guest lecturer for the same.