The Over The Top Economist

Disclaimers: At the outset, I would like to clear the ground rules for the post
1. If you are in love with economics, please don’t read any further. You might be severely offended.
2. If you are a person with an IQ of over 150, this blog is not meant for your reading purposes because you are not a common man.
3. If your processor is incapable of sarcasm, humor or any such emotion, please refrain from commenting.
4. I am incapable of any intellectual discussion so please don’t bother.

I would like to lay all blame for my inferior self esteem and low position in society on economics. It single handedly destroyed my academic career. Somehow I never seemed to get the hang of things because I always found it weird. Infact, the more I read the tougher my life became –

1. Firstly, it is highly theoretical with no applications in the real world. Even the basic supply demand relationships do not work in the real world. Ask any baniya(businessman) in Delhi and he will give you a simple economics law – “The price of any good is determined by the bargaining (not purchasing) power of the consumer” If the store keeper finds you to be a new one time customer not adept at bargaining, he will charge you exorbitant prices covering his entire margins so that he can provide huge discounts to the not so friendly aunty of the neighborhood (who is also a repeat purchaser btw). This philosophy of the local kirana stores is responsible for kicking ass of all fixed price modern retailers.

2. The primary reason that I hate economists is because they waste valuable government money on ridiculous researches.

I am pretty sure some random professor is currently doing a government funded economics project to understand why Harayana won so many CWG medals in aggressive sports like Shooting, Wrestling and Boxing. This is sheer waste of taxpayer’s money.
Anybody and I mean anybody (one even with an IQ of an average Delhite) in Delhi who has ever had an altercation (sorry I meant conversation) with a bus conductor or a security guard would let you know the reason why. You don’t need any research to find out.

In a few years time some economist will blame the Delhi Metro Ladies compartment for the increase in the number of frustrated males in the city and hence an eventual increase in the number of rapes (or may be gay couples) in the city.

3. Economists themselves know that market forces take care of themselves. So everything will return to the equilibrium point on its own. Then why the hell do we pay these idiots(sorry intellectuals)???

4. They are never really sure about anything. Markets fail they blame the free market, then the governments fail and they promptly blame the ridiculous communist ideology. The same expert will support increase of interest rates in the evening news show and then ridicule the same in the morning newspaper. They even discuss the ideal unemployment rate(I always thought 0% would be the ideal rate). Moreover, the richest country in the world has the highest trade deficit. This is clearly above the understanding of any rational indian.

5. Read any book on economics and your happy world would change forever. You suddenly realize that the extra high prices that you pay for your coffee at CCD or Barista was not because of the assured quality, experience etc(crap that marketers tell you) and only due to the high rentals at the places they open up shops. If you have read this for the first time, your coffee will no longer feel the same EVER.

6. Then there are places like Mumbai which screw up any economic theory. Even though it claims to be “modern” city, the rules that applied before the industrial revolution are still applicable in this city – “Supply any shit at any price, there always will be excess demand” (Modified Say’s law)

All the above apart, the single largest fallacy of all economic theories is that they are based on assumption that all people will behave rationally (lol, rofl, fucking awesome). How the hell can ANY such theories work in Delhi?