Monday, January 17, 2011

10 reasons why I am going to assume that the last India SA match was fixed

The last month has been absolutely dry for any blogger. Corrupt politicians have been sacked, India is winning away test matches, no more rapes are happening in Delhi and worst of all even Appam is behaving like a cow. How can the blogging industry survive in such a scenario?? Fortunately we have the proud Indian cricket "fan" to bail us out.

Some so called Indian cricket “fans” have been propagating stories that the last Ind-SA match was fixed. Initially I rubbished the idea thinking that it was foolish to spread such rumors. But some more analysis helped me in understanding their psyches and I have promptly decided to join in the bandwagon of those “fans”. I just jotted some of the most compelling reasons for all Indian men to believe that not only the last match but all cricket matches are fixed -

• Being a proud Indian, I feel that we Indians are genetically weak and a nervous wreck. It is scientifically impossible for us to win any close games. Whenever I see a girl watching me bat, I get out immediately. Then how can Munaf Patel(being just like me) take two wickets in the last over when the entire world was watching him??

• Being a proud racist, I also feel that poor South Africans are the dumbest people on earth. Infact, SA team has had a history of being dumb (Remember Shaun Pollock). They will fix a match and then make it absolutely obvious by getting out on short and wide balls. Even a layman can be more subtle. For example, if I fix a match I will get out to Zaheer’s Yorker instead of Munaf gentle medium pace.

• Being a proud “MAN” and an MCP, I got to have strong “manly” opinions about everything.It is the job of women to believe in the romance of the one day game.

• Being a materialistic asshole, I don’t see the point in NOT fixing matches. Which logical cricketer will want to win a game if he is getting paid more for losing??

• Being a proud sensationalist, I love masala stories. That is why I love fixed reality shows, fixed news, WWF and now even fixed cricket. Reality would be so boring.

• Being an elitist, I am convinced that a team built up of people like Dhoni, Munaf, Pathan (coming from lower middle class) must be corrupt.

• Being a sore loser, its my duty to be jealous of every successful guy on this earth. While I lick my boss’s ass, how can men younger than me become the No 1 team in the world

• Being a complete cynic, I feel that all goodness in this world has decimated and nobody on earth should be trusted.

• Being an eternal pessimist, I know nothing good can happen to me. The team I support or claim to support cannot win any match under normal circumstances.

• Being a proud blogger, It is my duty to make this blog famous. I know idiots will never share my blog if I write about boring dumb things. All headlines must have some weight.


  1. You are being paid to make the idea of cricket matches being fixed sound like fun, when I'm sure all of them INDEED are!! You are one of "them".

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