IIT KGP students decide to boycott Valentine's day

(Wrote it for fakingnews. Subject to approval from the big boss(pagal patrakar), it might be published. But as usual unedited version is ready here)


Kharagpur: In what could feel as music to the ears of Sri Ramsena, Bajrang Dal and the likes, students of IIT KGP have decided to ban celebrations of Valentine’s day on campus this year. President of the students union Mr Sriram Rajagopalachari addressed the media saying that the decision was taken by an absolute majority and most of the students stand by the decision. “It is unfair to let a tiny section of students enjoy a festival when hundreds of others are suffering at the same time”. He said that the Valentine’s day has increased cases of depression in IIT students. “The official country census says that the sex ratio is 950 something. But you will understand the true reality when you see my facebook friend list. The actual sex ratio is actually 100. In such a scenario events like Vday, add to the frustration of already massively hassled IIT students. In some cases it increases homo sexual tendencies too” a happy IIT student told the media. It is well documented that in many engineering colleges, male students give chocolates to each other on chocolate day. Freeriding sid managed to contact the only IIT KGP student with a girlfriend. He on the condition of anonymity told fakingnews that he was somewhat disappointed but agreed to stand by his friends in the noble cause “All of us are suffering together. The only reason I am still with my current gf is because I don’t have an option of moving on. It is a sad state of affairs and by taking this step if the sadness subsides a bit, I am all game for it. Anyways, it is all about peer pressure and if nobody in my clan is having a date, I don’t mind being single either.”

Mr Sriram is writing to other engineering colleges for support and has received positive response from lots of engineering colleges. Some students in Delhi College of Engineering as a part of their CSR project, have reportedly started spreading awareness in Bawana (neighboring village) about the ills of Valentine’s day. IIT Guwahati has asked its 10 non male students to take a holiday for a week in case some students are not able to control themselves.

Sriram is positive that this wave will spread across the entire country and all students of engineering will ultimately decide to boycott in what he calls “A festival for the lesser mortals”.