Saturday, September 24, 2011

Speedy Singh – A Movie Review

Yes I know, Movie Review is not my thing and I should never write one. But Speedy Singh is such a remarkable piece of fiction that I was inspired to write this post. Moreover, it is a sports movie so I do qualify to write a post.

Statutory Warning
Carrying your brain along to Speedy Singh can be injurious to your brain so viewer discretion is advised.

Speedy Singh Side Affect

After watching the movie, I have decided to fulfill my childhood ambition of playing cricket at the highest level. For this, I need to set up an IPL team. Finding players will obviously not be a problem. There will be many interested in playing at the highest level. In case you have the passion and the drive to achieve something big in life (cricketing ability is strictly optional) please ping me your email id. I will soon get in touch with you.

Further my team needs –

1. A struggling coach – There must be plenty available ex-cricketers in the market.
2. A hot chick who is a lawyer cum doctor cum consultant cum analyst cum sports physiologist. This is probably the toughest to execute but I guess we can manage.
3. A super rich loser in life whose dad will sponsor our kits and training schedule. West Delhi has abundant supply of such species too.

The above matched with 2-3 song dance routines around Delhi Monuments and 1-2 inspirational lectures should be enough to set us up. Watch out for “WestDelhi Wonderboys” in the next year’s IPL. We can at least beat Delhi Daredevils.

Now coming to the actual movie, I will summarize as usual in bullet points (no Gas on my blog :D) –

1. Speedy Singh is a copy pasted remixed version of all the classics like Goal(Newcastle one), Invictus, Chak De India, Bend it like Beckham and even the not so classic ones like Goal(John Abraham one) and Patiala House. All the best scenes have been re-created with a little bit of Punjabi flavor to add spice to the original ones. Watch this one and you can claim to have watched all the other ones.
In case you have already seen all those, still go and watch this. For 2 hours you can pretend to be a wizard by predicting verbatim the next scene.

2. If you get offended by Russell Peters racist slurs you must have a copy of the movie in your video library. His role is embarrassing and downright classless. So the next time he offends you go away and watch the re run of Speedy Singh. You will enjoy a hearty laugh – Not at his jokes but on him.
Russell fans can be excited because I expect a whole 2-3 hours stand-up comedy session to be released very soon dedicated only to Bollywood movies and Indian marriages. After all it is important for him to regain his image back.

3. I never knew that leagues in Canada have Sardar commentators and people flock in front of radios to hear (yes hear) a local league match. To make it more exciting, the director has successfully shot some scenes that are almost impossible to occur in real life Ice hockey matches. We get to see Rugby and kabaddi (Yes, I am not kidding) tackles and even football like excitement where the striker hits the puck from half line and the defender clears it off the goal line by a last ditch tackle. Where the hell the goal keeper was is an answer I will never know. But then I have to accept my knowledge of Ice Hockey is minimal. May be in Ice hockey the goal keeper time to time joins the strikers to make up the extra man in attack or he is just allowed to go on a pee break between the game.

4. Some of the jokes like “Oye Jaddu, tune fir pad mara”, the pre goal (yes, pre goal) celebrations and the ridiculous helmets reminded me of my childhood and Cartoon Network. We used to crack similar jokes when we used to play the local street games in Class III. Speedy Singh takes you back to your childhood once again. Ah what a bliss, that nostalgic feeling.

5. The movie provides a lesson that even douche bags like Sreesanth, Joey Barton and Yuvraj Singh have a chance to improve. Because the "Star" of Speedy Singh takes attitude to another level. Despite being a nobody, he has the attitude of a Christiano Ronaldo. But just one match ban suffices to change him and he comes back in the final to help his team win. I hope Duncan Fletcher, Niel Warnock and Fabio Capello pick up something watching Speedy Singh.

Now I know to properly evaluate a movie you need a rating. So on Gunda’s Scale of awesomeness where 10 Gunda is equal to the perfect movie I will rate the movie at a 8 Gunda.

PS: Trust me, I am not of those who thinks he has wasted 250Rs on a movie and then wants others to face a similar fate. The above appreciation was truly genuine.

PS2: Unfortunately, some of my friends were hell bent on staging a walk out mid way and by the end, the theater was almost empty. Sadly, true art has never been appreciated in India. So in case you are one of those who does appreciate humor, please go ahead and watch the movie in a theater with your engineer college’s chichora gang.