ICC to conduct entrance exam for all international players

Dubai: Irritated by the constant flouting of its rules the ICC has decided to conduct a compulsory entrance exam for all international players. All players, young and old must qualify by clearing this test and only then, will they be made eligible for play in international matches. There have been numerous instances in the past two months were international players have been commissioned to the refree’s room. The recent incident occurred yesterday when Kyle Mills who breached the warm up rule (Rule 17.1)and was suspended for half an hour from bowling. Mills later reported that he was not aware of the rule. Shocked by this, the ICC has decided to start this entrance test. A top ranking ICC official talked to the media - “We want all players to know all the rules and sections by heart so that they maintain discipline and spirit of the game. The test will be a simple way to ensure that no players blame the lawmakers after breaching it later”. The course curriculum for the exam will consist of the following sections –

1. All laws, sections, subsections and the punishments enforced in the ICC rulebook.
2. Abuses in all basic international cricketing languages – English, Australian, Hindi, Urdu, Swahili and Zulu
3. Basic corporate and media etiquettes
4. Guide to the spirit of cricket and integrity – A book written by an ICC panel

The boards of all cricketing nations have reacted differently to ICC’s decision. ACB was happy saying that all their players were already adept at point No 2 and hence it is unlikely that they will face any problem coping with the new law. The PCB is however enraged at the new development and claimed it to be a conspiracy of the west. PCB chief Izaz Butt told fakingnews “We have a different schooling system in Pakistan. At the age of 5, parents of the students decide if they want their sons to become a bureaucrat, terrorist or a cricketer. Only the future bureaucrats are sent to a proper school, terrorists are sent to the JeT academy in PoK and the cricketers are thrown on the streets. How will these cricketers face an exam? They have never been trained to face one. It is clear that the world is threatened by Pakistan’s brilliant performance in the third test. They want to kill our cricket.”

In India , Raj Thackery has threatened the ICC that if such an entrance exam is started, Marathi abuses should also be a taught because most of the Indian cricketers are Maharastrians. Mayawati has already demanded a different cut off for SC and OBC’s in the exam. Freeriding sid contacted Shashank Manohar who was relaxed about the whole issue “The BCCI has already made a committee that will raise our issues with the ICC. I am sure they will either be ready to incorporate these demands or decide to cancel the idea altogether. Because if they don’t we will threaten to sever all ties with the ICC. I am sure they don’t want to get into such a soup.”

It is also being reported that some Indian parents have already started sending their children to various coaching centers who have started claiming that they are well equipped to teach students how to crack this exam too. “We have already employed a few ex umpires, cricketers and commentators in our faculty. Indians would not be facing a problem i.e only if they join our coaching center” said an excited CL Pillai, head of a reputed CAT Coaching center.