Monday, August 16, 2010

Peepli Effect - Khap Panchayat orders its own “Natha” to commit suicide

(Wrote it for fakingnews. Edited version published by them under my pseudo name on Aug 20,2010)

In yet another incident of Khap Panchayat’s tyranny, the panchayat of village Peemproli has ordered one villager Natha Singh Chauhan to commit suicide to help the village in getting the necessary publicity. Inspired by the movie “Peepli Live” the panchayat ordered that Natha should die because it will bring the much needed media and political attention to the village. Village Peemproli, a small village in Harayana is mostly inhabited by Brahmins and has not seen any development in the past 50 years. “We have never been part of any news ever. Our sons are so lame, they are never able to woo any girl let alone one of a different caste. Since we are predominantly a Brahmin village we cannot protest for any reservations and hence no political party ever visits us. None of us are strong enough to become Olympic wrestlers which is the only sport played in the town. Even our kids are so obedient that they never fall in any bore well. When we heard about Peepli Live we understood this is our opportunity to finally get our much wanted fame. Natha must sacrifice for the betterment of the entire kaum.” said a villager. Fakingnews reporter Freeriding sid managed to talk exclusively to Natha Singh who has been absconding since the Panchayat’s decision. He blamed the NGO worker Medha Chatkar for the whole situation. Natha said that Medha who acted as a consultant to the village panchayat had advised them earlier of creating some national level news. It was Medha, Natha alleged who convinced the villagers that for a revolution to take place they have to do something big. Since none of the other villagers can achieve anything of note, he was being made the poor scapegoat. Freeriding sid did interview Medha about this allegation. Unfortunately, the capitalist MBA type sid did not comprehend the communist jargon that Medha threw at him. The American Intel processor in his brain translated the interview as “Blah Blah, blah Blah, Blah Blah Blah.” Fakingnews is trying to decode the transcript and would publish the interview as soon as possible.
Fakingnews entry into the village was greeted with widespread elation in the village because they feel this will lead to mass avalanche of reporters coming to the village akin to the movie. “We have been successful in our efforts. All thanks to fakingnews” was the delighted reaction of the sarpanch of the village.

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